Corn is cool, I guess

I'm eating corn. Looking at my christmas tree. In the semi-dark. Alone. Ahh the holidays.

My day.

Julie Andrews= Goddess?

This is what I do with my spare time. I look up pictures of Julie Andrews.

Yup.

I think I'm gonna go eat some cyanide...

Or listen to the Sound of Music record I took from my parents' collection. Not Mary Poppins. I can't deal tonight.

Oh, Julie Andrews. You have bewitched me. Verily.

Wow. WOW.

This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. If I didn't wake up tomorrow, I would be ok with it, now that I know that this has been created and exists in the world.


I'm speechless. It's just wonderful.


I didn't know albinos had such matronly hips. And that they often wear acid wash mom jeans to bowl in. And that supernovas occur behind them as soon as they release the ball. I've learned so much today.

Kate's Kat Pharm

This is me. Forever. Start buying cats for me. Thanks. I'm not bitter.

I thought this was such a safe neighborhood

Someone stole our bowl of Halloween candy right off our porch last night. They took the bowl and everything. If you have any leads, let me know. I really wanted to have the leftover candy today. But now I have to go to RiteAid and buy clearance candy like a common bum. Damn you, trick or treaters! Damn you!

On a side note, my sister and I watched Blank Check last night. And it was actually funny. Because the kid was so depressed. Almost like a real human. It's funny when kids try to act like humans. It's NOT funny when they steal my candy.

Gotta Pocketful of JENS... yeah, I said it...

So, yeah, I've refallen in love with Jens Lekman. My friend and I went to his show in Boston last night. And it was amazing. Hands down the best show I've ever been to. And I've seen Elton John. And Sting. So, yeah. I'm a pretty big deal. So anywayz, go get Night Falls Over Kortedala. Or borrow it from me. Or, better yet, go see him live. He's FUCKING amazing. And he's the sweetest little man ever. I wanna make him a nest in the corner of my room and keep him as a pet he's so cute. ...Did that sound creepy to anyone else?

Oh but you know who i wanna keep in a Mason jar in my basement? Daniel Bruhl. He's the suave man you see below. The one who looks like he's in a whiskey ad. Yeah, him. Just look at him for a bit. As the Dutch would say, "Ik wil een kroket, graag." Don't we all want a meat ragout encased in a crispy fried crust? Don't we all?


I have to pay rent.


And get a life.






Stop looking at me like that, Daniel.